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yaddy yaddy yaddy...
the life and times of a young mother!
an early morning rant 
3rd-Feb-2007 09:49 am
Note: first off this isnt directed to those on my buddy list who are pregnant are wish to be pregnant. i am very happy for all of you so please dont take offense.

yesterday mike and i went bowling with his platoon at lunch time. it was a nice time and now i kno that my husband's nick name in the platoon is penguin tube (ill explain about that later). well i was asked by the older bowling attendant asked if "i planned to make lily an only child" as she guffawwed on how cute she is. this wasnt the first time this was asked of me and everytime it has been asked i have been taken aback.

i guess this falls along the same line of questioning such as "when will you get married" etc and its just rude. i may be overly sensitive because everyone around me seems to be getting pregnant and having kids and while im happy for them, im relishing my un pregnant state with gusto. and i find it extremely rude that people assume just because the baby factory is closed and since its closed they fear " the horrors of lily being an only child".

now im not sure if i want another baby. more days than not i feel within myself that i have reached perfection with lily. plus i also think of the horrible pregnancy i had with her (recap for those who dont kno: miscarriage of twin, severe subchorionic hemmhorage due to her twin's miscarriage that almost caused her miscarriage. this was remedied with 16 weeks of bedrest, then her high afp score and our financial downfall as parents) and i really dont want to live through that again.

right now we are ok financially, we could be a little bit better but we have some comfy room. that will be remedied once i start the daycare and then when mike leaves for the sandbox. and i like spoiling my daughter. i like buying her 50 dollar stride rite shoes. i like that she has a ton of toys she barely plays with. call me materialistic but im just really happy i can provide for her because when i was pregnant i couldnt. and maybe im selfish but throwing another kid in the mix right now just wouldnt work financially.

then there is the issue of mike deploying. yes it will happen, and its happening sooner than later. and i def am glad i wont be alone, with two children right now to raise. maybe if lily was a little bit older but not as a 13+ month old. as it was i raised her on my own from march to oct of 2006 and it was the hardest thing i ever had to do. at least now she is older, she has friends and i have friends who have kids thus the playdates. but i knew most def i didnt want to bring another baby into the worls whose father will miss most of it's first year. its not fair to the baby and it def aint fair to mike.

at last, when i was pregnant with lily i told mike that i wanted to buy a home and have a new car when we got pregnant again. when he goes to iraq we are paying off his debt consolidation,student loans and surgery which will leave us debt free. he already talked to the va office here and by him doing this our chances of getting a nice size mortgage will be 100%. i also plan on buying a brand new car once he gets back which will look great on our credit. so obviously this would be the opportune time to bring a new baby in the world, with a new, bigger house that is our own and a new reliable car (my jeep is great but i want a real new new car)

so i guess in turn this is my rebuttal to all those that ask me if im making lily an only child. im not sure if i even want another kid and if i do it has to wait at least 1.5 years before we even try. lily will be about 2.5 which would make her almost 4 when the baby came, which would be a great age difference for me. i want to do stuff financially and for myself before i open up the baby machine once again and i wish people wouldnt be so prying and rude about asking why im not in some state of active reporduction again. but until then all i got to say is i love my iud.
5th-Feb-2007 12:28 am (UTC)
I heard that from that time Ava was six months old and to this day. People seem more concerned with age difference than they do for the fact if you can AFFORD another one or not. Annoying yes, but not likely to go away. Ava will be around 4 when planned baby 2 will come along. I'm okay with that.
5th-Feb-2007 02:12 pm (UTC)
i had a feeling i wasnt the only one here who had similar feelings. :)

my brother and i are 4 years apart and we are really close and mike and his sis are 4 years apart so i dont think that is such a horrible age difference. but alas, i have heard the age difference spiel with people and whatever works for them doesnt necessarily work for me (or you)
6th-Feb-2007 02:10 am (UTC)
I actually kinda wanted my kids close in age, but moneywise it's not really feasable. We could do it, but on a shoestring budget and I refuse to have to do that again. No fun at all.
6th-Feb-2007 09:53 am (UTC)
i kno what you mean. until mike joined the army we were piss poor and sometimes we struggled just for diapers. im so glad i breastfed because it meant less co pays at the doctor and no need for formula.

we finally are doing decent financially, paying our bills and having food in the house (something we couldnt do while i was pregnant or right after she was born) so im in no rush. i thought it would be good to have them closer, to get the whole diaper thing done in shot but its better off this way.

plus i enjoy just having her.
8th-Oct-2009 01:45 am (UTC)
Hey, I saw you on Cortney's blog and figured I'd check you out... I have a daughter born at the end of Feb 2006 (same sort of age as your lily) and I am only just ready to get pregnant again. We have been ADAMANT we were not ready for more kids but we heard all the time about giving her a brother or sister. good for you for sticking to your guns on this one!
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